Thursday, November 11, 2010

In Defense of Lost Causes, Second Installment, No Postscripts

This post is going to be enthusiastic!

Hot Dogs
How many people do you know who have gotten seriously ill off a hot dog? So long as you don't get too curious about them, I think they're okay! Plus there are many kosher varieties!

Essential to the survival of our species! Sure, they're incredibly stupid and can't make conversation for the life of them, but how many of us can say "I was never a baby!"? None of us can, is the correct answer! So the thing is that you just have to understand the purpose of babies. They're not good for talking or surviving independently or whatever - they're here for sexually active adults to realize that sometimes certain things lead to other things! And those things can be quite demanding! The semantic ambiguity in that sentence results in a double entendre ha!

Some people/things/tastes are better than others and that's that!

Being Sick
You have an automatic excuse! A go-to for justifying whatever you're not doing right/well! Plus you probably get to lie around reading all day, which is a great thing every so often! Also, you become a weapon and can exact revenge in the most inconspicuous ways - for example, leave your cellphone at home and borrow theirs, and breathe extra-heavily during your phone conversations using their borrowed phone! They will (maybe) never know that you were the reason for their contracting your virus!

Friendship / Relationships Generally
Even though all relationships end, and when they end, it's because of death, or an angry severance, or moving far away, or a terrible combination of those, relationships can be pretty okay in the meantime!


  1. As T-Rex has wisely stated in the alt-text of one of his comics, "A friendship isn't a failure just because it ends before one of you dies." It's one of the very few actually wise things he's ever said.

  2. Friendships/relationships can also end for more vague reasons, like mutual disinterest, lack of shared passions/goals, or passive-aggressive avoidance!

    In some ways, I'd prefer death, angry severance or moving to any of those. In most other ways, though: definitely not.

  3. exclamation points are not essential to enthusiasm.

    exclamation points are not essential to enthusiasm!

    [or maybe they are]