Friday, October 1, 2010

Pointers for Rummaging

  • In the fridge, Creamy vs. Extra Chunky should correspond only to a decision between peanut butter options, not a decision between dairy product options
  • Shake the pile of clothes first before going in to retrieve your wallet from earlier-worn pants
  • Leave most of what you can in a storage container, unless you want to get crud out from the bottom; in that case empty away but remember that you will have to repack it unless you intend to actually put away all that stuff (yeah right)
  • Shake the grass just in case, or make things easy and get a metal detector that will sense whatever material it is that your keys are made of, PS if it is night, forget about it
  • It was a bad idea to enter your neighbor's house in the first place, no tips for you, get out of their basement
  • Make it look as though you accidentally threw away your cellphone, and aren't in the pursuit of food, or shredded documents, or whatever, in that can/dumpster
  • You need to get a money clip, a person shouldn't "rummage" through a wallet, jeeze that thing is enormous
  • If there is a body in the trunk, well, I hope it is someone else's trunk, PS don't take anything
  • If there is a gun in the glove compartment, then why are you still in this guy's car, rummaging?
  • If there is a bound and gagged person in the backseat - I don't even care, you're done, "A" for listening you big dumb schmuck
  • Common sense should suffice for most other contexts, though I anticipate that it will prove insufficient in certain cases (ha, two meanings)

1 comment:

  1. You wouldn't believe how points 8-11 apply to specific scenes I saw this Tuesday.